There are three names and stories I have memorized.
(1) Deborah Gardner.
1976- Gardner was a teacher volunteering in Tonga through the Peace Corps. A fellow volunteer named Dennis Priven had become infatuated with her. He pursued her endlessly. Eventually, Gardner agreed to a date, but cut it short. She did not feel the same way, and he was making her uncomfortable. On October 14, Priven murdered Gardner by stabbing her twenty-two times. Priven was arrested in Tonga but released to the United States, where he was able to walk away a free man. The Peace Corps has done their best to bury Deborah’s story. She was twenty-three years old.
(2) Ashley Billasano
2011- Billasano took to Twitter Tuesday, November 7, and detailed her experience being regularly raped by her father, who had also been selling her to other men since she was fourteen. She had told police and CPS about the abuse but after investigation, they found no evidence to press charges. Billasando tweeted 144 times over six hours. When she finished her story, she committed suicide. Police urged reporters not to tell Ashley’s story for fear of copycats. She was eighteen.
(3) Hillary Adams
2004- Adams set up a camera on her desk. She was able to record her father, Judge William Adams, beating Hillary for over eight minutes. Hillary said this abuse was regular and that she had tried to tell people about her father but all attempts led nowhere. Seven years later, Adams posted the video online. It got over 8 million views, and her father was fined and suspended for one year. In 2014, he lost re-election.
There are many more stories and many more names, too many to list here, too many to know, too damn many. One in three women will be sexually and/or physically abused in their lifetime. One in three. Think of three women you know. Statistically, one of them has been abused. It’s likely that more than one of them have. It’s likely that you have. Women face violence from strangers and from people who they love and who claim to love them every day. Sexism and misogyny are real and their roots run deep. Do not be okay with this.
Say Enough.
International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women Site: un.org/en/events/endviolenceday
The National Domestic Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Stop Violence Against Women: stopvaw.org
Lauren Alexis Reed 